Take people at face value
Yesterday I had a look at a forum I signed up to at the beginning and someone was complaining about people saying the wrong thing and everyone offering to help but not coming up with the goods. My feeling is that none of us know what to say in a situation we're unfamiliar with and none of us knows how to help if we don't know what will be useful. To combat this I've organised a talk on dementia in our village in the hope that a few of our close friends would sign up. The limit was 20 but 5 or 6 would have felt good. It's in just over a week's time and we have the full 20 with a waiting list. People do want to help and they do want to know how they can be there for us we just need to make sure they have the information. I have also found that if I need help and I'm specific about what's needed then that help is there. None of us are mind readers and we shouldn't expect other people to be either.