Memory for two

This is a very short post because the 6 year old is here for the week and my energy levels aren't what they were but Ash and I have had such a nice day that I wanted to tell you about it.  The 6 year old went to play with friends this morning so the two of us went shopping and to the bank both of which provided lots and lots of opportunities for people watching which, as a family, was always our favourite hobby.  Jake and I still do it but Ash doesn't always notice as much as he used to and so sits quietly while we watch.  Today however he was on very good form which made us both happy, the bank didn't faze him and the supermarket shopping went without a hitch.  In fact he's been so chilled today that he took the dog for a walk late this afternoon and didn't bother putting his shoes on.  For years and years if not at work Ash rarely wore shoes and could walk almost anywhere with nothing on his feet.  Then dementia came calling and the times he went barefoot became…

Last week was difficult and I wrote about some of it, then on Friday it got worse.  The dog who, if you remember, is the love of Ash's life had been poorly all week so I knew the reason for it and then on Friday he spent the day at the vets so I was expecting things to be challenging but knowing all that didn't make it any easier.  On Friday then, I was going to tell you all about those difficulties and challenges but ran out of time so I thought on Saturday I'd write about it but I was on my way to Jake's for a 24 hr break so I ran out of time and decided I'd write about it yesterday but again ran out of time.  Now I'm here, sat at my computer and have discovered that the traumas of last week are no longer important or relevant.  The dog is on the road to recovery, Ash is settled and I've had 24 hours with the peace and quiet of my own company so am once again ready to face the world.  The lesson I've learned here then is that nothing lasts forever, t…

Had a difficult couple of days with Ash where he's been more confused than usual and less able so now waiting to see whether it's just a blip or a slide down the slippery slope.  When Jake was little I once described his childhood as lurching from one phase to the next with each lurch coming just as I'd become used to the current one and this experience with dementia seems to be very similar but in reverse.  With Jake each phase saw him become more capable, develop more skills and, if I'm honest, turned him into a useful and funny human being.  Dementia on the other hand sees us travelling in the opposite direction so that the things Ash could do last week aren't necessarily on the list of things he can do this week and the sad thing is that he realises it and it frightens him.  Yesterday, for the first time since his diagnosis, he talked about what's happening to him and how it makes him feel and it's obvious that he's scared but there's nothing ei…

At the weekend I ordered a skirt.  Those of you who don't know me might wonder why I mention it but those of you who do will probably now be sitting down with the shock of this news.  I've rarely worn skirts and certainly not in the last 20+ years but all the running and the healthy eating are working their magic with the result that the weight continues to fall off revealing a slimmish me underneath.  There's still a way to go but I'm now slimmer than I've been for years and years and, not only that, I feel better about myself than I've felt for years and years so on Saturday when I found myself gazing longingly at a skirt of a type I've hankered after for ever I took the plunge and ordered it.  It arrived this afternoon, I tried it on and, although I didn't look quite as slim as I'd hoped, I loved it.  Not only that but it's not black!! Instead it's a very lovely green and I now find myself looking at tops to go with it.  I'm not sure …

Yesterday I was feeling proud of myself for being involved in a chat for a radio podcast and not making a fool of myself whereas today I'm feeling proud of myself for disposing of a pork pie without making a fuss.  Such are the ups and downs of life with dementia.
Tell us about the pork pie I hear you say and so I will but, to be honest, even if I didn't hear you begging I'd still tell you because it's all a little bizarre.  Each week on the way back from grocery shopping we call at the butchers and I buy three pork pies.  We get home and two of them go in the freezer while one stays in the fridge and then Ash works his way through them during the week right up until we buy another three and start the whole routine again.  Usually three are enough but sometimes he doesn't eat all three and so we have spares, only two or three weeks ago we ran short and I had to go and buy an extra one half way through the week which was a little strange but I puzzled about it for a …

Sat down about an hour ago to write this post but decided instead to practice my procrastination skills, flicking from Google to Twitter to Facebook before bringing up my emails and finding one from Pete Hill who hosts The 'D' Word on TDW Radio and who, you may remember, I talked to three weeks ago.  He was emailing to tell me the chat was now available online and to give me the link.  I've listened to it first and didn't sound anywhere near as bad as I thought I might so I'm now willing to share it with you and to wait for your comments as long as you're gentle with me.  If you want to hear what I had to say or just want to hear what I sound like then you can click on this link   https://www.ukhealthradio.com/blog/program/the-d-word/

One thing I will say is that, if you'd told me in the really dark days following Ash's diagnosis, that one day in the future I'd find myself with a life as full of new experiences as this one is becoming I would never …