Feeling stronger

Yesterday I decided that, whenever I need to stay calm, I would close my eyes, count to 10 and think of somewhere wonderful we'd been on holiday.  But which one to begin with?  Holidays are my hobby and I'm either planning one, looking forward to one, enjoying one or coming home from one.  Sometimes two or more of these overlap!  I had an hour's journey home so lots of thinking time and settled on the 4 day camping trip to the Scilly Isles taken several years ago.  Things to remember?  Arriving at Penzance to find that Ash couldn't take his new camping stoves on the helicopter (recently bought and his pride and joy);  flying over the islands and being amazed at how blue the sea was (when you live on the east coast you're used to brown); the trip on the fishing boat from St Mary's to St Agnes where we were staying;  meeting the owner of the campsite and discovering (to my relief and Ash's disappointment) that we wouldn't have to carry all of our camping gear to the site - she took it away on a quad bike;  following the directions to the site (follow that track, go past the pond, keep walking for 10 minutes and you're there); cooking on the 2 x 1 burner stoves lent to us by the campsite owner (Ash not me) and, finally, waking up every morning, opening the tent and gazing out at the sea right in front of us.  The sun shone the whole time, there were no roads so consequently no cars and the only noise came from the birds, sheep and the waves crashing on the shore.  Could we go back and do it again?  On a good day I think yes but on a more difficult day I would say, realistically, no.

One other thing.  On my way home, and while I was daydreaming about relaxing on St Agnes,  Gloria Gaynor came on the radio with 'I will survive' and I realised how apt it was for this situation we find ourselves in.  Apart from one or two lines, if you keep dementia in mind (and remember that it's dementia you're sending away not your loved one) while you listen, it fits exactly how I feel and probably you too.  I sang out loud all the way through and felt so much better at the end.  Listen to it, sing along to it as loud as you can and I promise you will feel better.