A memory for two

If your loved one has been diagnosed with dementia you really will need a memory for two.  There will be no opportunities for 'do you remember when.......?' or 'just like when we .......', instead you need to make sure you hang on to those memories that you have of your past together.  It doesn't matter how you do it.  It can be through photos, a diary, reminiscing with family and friends, any number of ways but you really need to make sure you hold on to it all as that will sustain you when the long chats into the night have gone, when the companionable walks in the country or on the beach no longer happen, when the adventures together are no longer possible, when the snuggles on the sofa are things of the past, when the romantic meals with just the two of you have disappeared or when family get togethers are not quite the same.  In our lives things are changing slowly but I make a real effort to notice the small shifts in behaviour and attitude as that way I find that I really 'know' that it hasn't always been as it is now, that there was most definitely a time when we were a team (the three of us, not just Ash and me) and that lasted for years and years.  This is such a small percentage of our time together that it really shouldn't count as much as it does.

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