Use your friends wisely

I have talked quite a lot in this blog about the importance of friends.  I/we have very, very good friends who are more supportive than I would ever have thought possible and I have even written a post regarding choosing your friends wisely (which I have obviously done) but this time I need you to think about the best 'use' for these friends.  At the beginning of all of this I got to a point where I thought I really couldn't cope so I went to the GP and asked for some little white pills (actually any colour would have done but I'd been told about the white ones).  I explained that the only person I'd ever been able to cry in front of was Ash and that was no longer an option so the pills would have to help instead.  A lovely 12 year old GP told me very kindly that she couldn't give me the pills I thought I needed but would instead give me 10 sleeping tablets to be taken when I really needed them and then suggested I went home and cried to my friends.  Now this was a lovely idea and I did do it once but it didn't really make the difference the 12 year old GP thought it would.  My friends will tell you that I have a wide personal space (although not as wide as it once was) and I'm not comfortable with hugs when I'm upset unless they come from Ash which nowadays they don't.  I have a need instead to feel in control of my life and my feelings.  Yesterday morning had started out badly and when  a friend called round for coffee I was feeling a little fragile.  Here's the thing though, instead of telling her all about it and using her shoulder to cry on I lost myself in the conversation which was funny, gossipy and interesting.  I can tell you now that that conversation did me far more good than any amount of crying would have done which is why I say 'use your friends wisely'.  Over the past few weeks I have 'used' friends for lunch, an open-air production of Alice in Wonderland (freezing cold and exhausting to follow but wonderful for immersing yourself in), Mama Mia at the cinema, afternoon tea at the end of an intense four weeks at work and any number of other things.  Each one has taken me out of the difficulties of every day life and given me something else to think about which is why I say 'use your friends wisely'.  Crying, I have discovered, rarely makes me feel better,  good conversation and activity does.

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