A new phase

I woke up this morning and realised that we had become friends again.  For a long time it seemed that we were existing side by side.  I was irritated by all the things that Ash wasn't doing and he was I think made permanently anxious by my irritation.  Looking back this isn't something I'm proud of but I'm sure I'm not alone.  I felt that he was becoming old before his time and my one fear was that we would sink into middle age without doing all the things we had looked forward to in the past.   We were going to Western Australia to visit friends, we were going to Vancouver Island and other areas of Canada with those same friends, we were going to travel through France again with the tent and the dog, we were going to fly off to unknown destinations in America, we were going to visit Caribbean islands; so many adventures and so many places still to be discovered.  Then life changed as did our relationship and it got to the point where I dreaded going home and Ash hated me being at home.  Where once we would have discussed the next trip, chosen what to watch on the tv, worked out who amongst our friends to have round for a meal or go out to meet, there were instead arguments, heated discussions and boring nights in where there was little or no conversation from either of us.  Now things have changed again.  We have fun, we laugh, we work things out and, hopefully, we are both better company.  I have said before that a diagnosis of dementia isn't the end and I really do believe that.  I also believe that sometimes, with hard work and a lot of effort (and this should go without saying) on the part of the person without dementia, life can become even better than before.  Of course this stage can't last forever so the other thing to do is relax and enjoy it all while you can.

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