Happiness is up to us

I woke up this morning feeling a little sad at the way things have changed.  I started remembering how we used to be and what fun we had and all of a sudden I didn't want to get out of bed.  So what to do - lie in bed feeling sorry for myself (and 'us') or get up, pull myself together and get on with my day?  You may not be surprised to learn that I chose the latter.  I got up, made us tea (previously Ash's job), took it back to bed along with his tablets and then watched the sky lighten and turn pink as a new day beckoned.  I have told you in this blog about the time we traveled to the south of France with the tent and the dog, how everything that could go wrong went wrong and how at the end of every day we would list all the things that had happened and how they could have been worse.  I am using that experience in this life I have now.  Things could almost always be worse.  I may no longer have a husband I can rely on to get me out of scrapes; he may no longer be able to argue with me on an equal footing; he may no longer be able to make/fix something we need in the house; he may no longer be able to cook a meal; he may no longer be able to talk me out of some of my more irrational schemes; he may no longer be able to surprise me with things he's organised; he may no longer make me laugh from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed but I know that at one time he could do all of those things and how many people can say they had a husband/wife/partner who could do all of that? 

Interestingly I was going to start writing this post this morning but decided instead to see what the day brought with it and I can tell you that it has brought sunshine, smiles and grocery shopping.  This last used to be so stressful but we have managed to turn it into something to look forward to.  We make a list between us, we know what shops we're going to and in what order and we finish up with a cup of tea and a croissant as our reward.  It might not be intellectually stimulating but it's definitely better than spending time feeling sorry for ourselves that life isn't turning out how we expected.