Being a realist

I'm sure that some people reading this blog think I live in a little bubble where I believe life is perfect, I have dementia conquered and everything will be all right in the end.  In reality I think that I am currently in control of our life the majority of the time, that I work hard to keep things as stress free as is humanly possible and that I live in the here and now while trying very, very hard not to look into the future.  I try to ensure we have a social life that Ash can cope with, I make sure I have a life independent of him and I try to treasure all the good moments just in case there are black times waiting around the corner.  I do therefore, contrary to what some people think, deal in realism and to that end yesterday we gave our ski gear away.  This was a bit of a wrench as it was most definitely a case of admitting that things are never going back to where they were.  I had tried to tell myself that we could go to an indoor ski slope but thought 1. I might be setting Ash up to fail by providing an activity that requires thought processes he is no longer capable of and 2. why do something inferior (whichever way you look at it skiing inside somewhere near Leeds is not the same as skiing in the Alps, the Canadian Rockies or in California all of which we've done) just for the sake of it.  So the Pollyanna in me wanted to hang on to the skis and boots a while longer just in case but the realist in me knew the time had come to find a good home for them.   I was a little sad as they made their way out of the door but am pleased they have found a good home with people who will appreciate them.  If you can't have exactly the life you want you can at least use what you have to help others.

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