Small steps lead to a big breakthrough
This might not seem like a big deal to some people but to me it makes all the difference. At least since Ash was told he has dementia (and probably for some time before that) he has been emotionally distant. He's rarely noticed if I've been upset, the times he has noticed he hasn't asked why and the vast majority of the time he's only really been interested in how events have affected him. For my birthday Jake organised for mum to buy me some very expensive noise cancelling head phones so that I could have music on and read while Ash was watching yet another episode of The Chase (I can only stand so much). I have tried them twice and was irritated because I could still hear the television. It doesn't help that Ash has a problem with his hearing so we have the television up quite loud but I thought 'noise cancelling' meant 'noise cancelling' and wasn't a happy bunny. I tried again last night and was, once again, complaining that they weren't working properly when Ash suddenly said that if it would help I could turn the television down! We tried it and it was obvious he couldn't hear it properly but he said he didn't mind and that if it helped me he was happy. Now once upon a time his main object in life was to make sure I was happy (something I haven't properly appreciated before our lives were turned upside down) but, as I said, recently my feelings haven't entered his orbit. Last night was obviously different but I'm not completely selfish and didn't even consider his offer so instead he examined his hearing aids and discovered that he could turn them up. Now he can hear the questions/answers and I can read in peace. This is wonderful in itself but even more amazing is that he thought about my needs and was happy to put me first again. You can't begin to imagine how good that made me feel.