The effects of tiredness

Yesterday I wrote a really positive post about how well our weekend away had gone.  Approximately one hour after I wrote that post Ash went into meltdown.  I have no definite idea of what caused it but it seemed to be something to do with some trousers he'd given me to wash and my response.  As I had said 'ok, put them with the rest' a meltdown seemed unreasonable in the extreme but dementia I've learnt is in no way connected to logic or rationality.  Instead it seems to depend entirely on mood swings, atmosphere and the reaction of others.  This is the third such crisis in two months and, having considered them all, I've come to the conclusion that each one has been triggered by tiredness.  The first was after lots of socialising, the second was at the end of Christmas Day and this latest followed a lovely four day break in Suffolk.  If you've ever had children you may remember the fall out after they've been to stay with grandparents.  There is almost always at least one tantrum when they get home, at least one outburst and you are left wondering whether those few days of peace and quiet were worth it.  I always decided that they were as it was never long before life was back to normal and this is pretty much the same.  The difference here though is that when the crisis comes it's not only Ash that's tired, I am too and this I think is the problem.  When I'm not tired I can stay on top of everything, I can use the strategies which I know will work and I can walk away or change the subject when he's ranting at me.  When I'm tired as I was each of the three times he's gone into meltdown recently all of that goes out of the window and the whole thing spirals out of control.  What I do hang onto is that I know about the strategies, I know this isn't a normal way of life for us and things will always be better tomorrow.  And they were.

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Lesley said…
So sorry there was some fallout - that's a shame. We need to factor that knowledge in next time and try to ensure neither you nor Ash are stretched too far. Hope the happy memories last longest!
Jane said…
That's ok. All back to normal now and the memories are lovely. Think we're always going to be tired after doing something different but we just need to push through it. I'm not ready to give up on everything yet and the more Ash does the more his confidence grows which is good for him.
Jane said…
I also think it's really important to embrace any and every opportunity to make new memories while we still can.