Commitment required

Were you listening the other day when I said I have no will power?  There have been times in the past where I have committed to doing the best I can (bringing Jake up to be a decent human being ((check) and setting up/running a day nursery while in a situation I couldn't get out of (check) are the two that really stand out but this current scenario of helping Ash to navigate his way through the trials and tribulations of dementia is the first one I think I have embraced wholeheartedly.  Lessons were learned from the previous two (Jake was the real experiment poor thing) and the commitment this time seems, strangely, a little easier.  There is no thought of escape, no wondering how life could be different, no consideration of different ways of living.  We are where we are and that's all there is to it.  This running thing however is a completely different kettle of fish (I bet that change of direction took you by surprise!).  Last night I set the alarm for 6.30am.  I needed to be at work for 9 and hate having to rush so that seemed an ideal time to get up and go for a run.  And how do you think that went?  I woke up with the alarm, opened the curtains, looked at the frost on the ground outside, went to make a cup of tea and crawled back under the covers!!!!  On previous experience that seemed to be it then.  I'd missed the 2nd run of the 3rd week which I could use as an excuse to give up on the whole project and in the past that's exactly what I would have done.  Today however I managed to leave work at lunchtime, came home to see the Lincolnshire Wolds bathed in sunshine and thought 'it's now or never'.  I've just got back, completely out of breath and unable to speak but feeling so proud of myself that I needed to tell someone.  Back on track and trying to promise myself I definitely won't fall by the wayside.  To be honest there's absolutely no guarantee of that but if I just take it one run at a time I might even get to the end of the nine week programme.