A low point

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong from the minute you step out of bed?  I'm sure you have, we all have and my latest bad day was yesterday.  It began with giving Ash the wrong mug of tea.  This wasn't actually a big deal just a pointer to the direction the rest of the day was heading.  Next I went out for my run (2nd run of week 6 and the first I'd actually looked forward to in the whole programme).  Warm up walk up the hill and then break into a slow jog with an eye on the end of the lane rather than on the road directly beneath my feet which was unfortunate as I failed to spot the pothole until my ankle had given way beneath me.  At that point I was about 2/3 of the way along the lane and I am here to tell you that it's a very long way back when you're in agony and moving at a slow hobble.  Got home, told Ash and then had my breakfast and went to get ready for the trip to mum's where a friend was helping me finish clearing ready for photographs next week (she is the second friend to do this, the first got me started and this one helped me finish - where would I be without friends?).  Came downstairs to find Ash agitated and wanting to know what he could do to help.  We'd already discussed more than once what he was going to do while I was out, I hadn't slept well so was tired, my foot hurt and I couldn't think straight.  Not a good combination when he needs soothing and we soon descended into chaos.  The problem was, I think, that he was worried about me and wanted to help but didn't know how and so he was distressed.  What I actually needed was a hug and a shoulder to lean on but those things are rarely on offer nowadays and especially not when his head isn't in a good place.  I decided to leave him to it so jumped in the truck and drove off.  The good part of the day was the house clearing/tidying as it looked amazing by the time we'd finished.  Then it was off to see mum in hospital where she told me she used her walker not her walking stick so I took her at her word and we set off for the day room to sit in comfort only to be told by a nurse that she's not safe with her walker and should be using her stick.  Next she needed the toilet but said she could manage on her own.  I should have learnt by now and I'm sure you know what's coming but yet again I took her at her word and she fell while in the bathroom.  The finale to the bad day was when we were on our way home and decided to stop at a supermarket for a cup of tea.  Got in there only to find that the cafe had disappeared!  Now can you see what I mean when I said this was not a good day?

The thing I regret the most is that my strategies were nowhere in sight this morning when I needed them.  They rarely are when I'm tired, in pain or have other things on my mind but I feel they should be and know I let myself and Ash down when I fail with them but I also know I'm only human and there isn't a person out there who is perfect.  The only consolation is that by the time I got home Ash had forgotten all about it and had had a really good day.



Sarah H said…
Glad things went better when you got home . . . and . . . we all learn by mistakes!
Ann said…
So sorry you’ve had a bad day, Jane. But the positives to come out are that you are doing an amazing job as a daughter and as Ash’s wife. No one could possibly do more. So strap up that ankle and give yourself a big hug from all of here who think you are an absolute marvel.
Jane said…
Ankle now unstrapped and psyching myself to get out running again. Now only have twinges when I think about it but just a bit scared. However I do know thatt his really is the only way I'm ever going to lose weight so it has to be done!