Friendship makes all the difference

I told you a few weeks ago about Wendy Mitchell and her book 'Somebody I Used to Know'.  I read it and, even though I can never know what she's going through, I recognise the positive tone and the can-do attitude.  I have followed her blog  https://whichmeamitoday.wordpress.com/ ever since and something I read on there a couple of days ago struck a chord which I felt I should share with you.  All of our friends have been so supportive of our situation that there has never been a question over whether or not we're included in village events, invited out for meals and weekends away, involved in celebrations  and generally made welcome wherever we go.  This has made such a difference to us as a couple and Ash in particular and it would be very easy to take it for granted.  These are our friends after all and you always hope that friends will be there in times of need but the important thing is that the welcome isn't forced, the friendships are real and no-one is avoiding us just because Ash isn't quite like he used to be.  So back to Wendy's blog post of two days ago.  The sentence that stood out for me was this 
''Whenever I’m somewhere I want to be with people who are kind, I’m instantly happy, no matter what rubbish has passed my way before then'.  This was lovely to read as it showed me that this village and these friends are what have made the difference to how Ash copes with dementia but it also follows that we can all make that difference just by being inclusive.  What we need to remember though is that the friendship, the involvement and the invitations must be genuine.  If not don't fool yourself that you will be able to pretend and not be found out.


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Comments

Michael said…
Very true, it’s on my list to read.
Lesley said…
The quote from Wendy's blog is spot-on. Being with kind people who want to be with you wipes away hurt and fear and gives you a 'holiday' from worry. That benefit can last a long time. It's often easy to feel that socialising is too hard work and the temptation is to duck out but actually, as long as it is with really good friends, it can be a crucial part of coping.
Jane said…
I think one of the best things to come out of all of this is the realisation of the importance of friends. I know with total conviction we wouldn't have made it this far without them.
Ann said…
Hear! Hear! To everything said....
Michael said…
Had to share this: This morning on our daily walk for the paper and milk(in bottles) a couple we’ve known for years just came up to us and gave us both a hug. They were so supportive and gave us leaflet of all the events going on in the community centre in the village. Also we went to the dentist and of course you have to fill in form if you have been to the doctor’s, hospital or clinic for Carole. I gave the form to the dentist to read whilst Carole sat in the chair! (We have been going to the same dentist for over 30 years.) After Carole’s treatment he hugged Carole and myself and said, “ I’ve been there with this” and asked, “are you getting support “ “yes”, I replied . A day of kindness which has lifted our spirits no end.
Jane said…
It really does restore your faith in human nature doesn't it? I'm still sometimes overwhelmed by how amazing everyone has been.