Looking on the bright side

For the past few weeks I have been stressing about Ash's lack of driving license and all my thoughts have been taken up with that so I find it very interesting that since last Saturday afternoon and the trip to the hospital with my mum the driving license issue has hardly been on my radar.  I'm sure there is a lesson in here somewhere even if it's just that the brain is perfectly capable of prioritising for us when we need it to and when I phoned the DVLA just now to see where we were in the system I was pleased to hear that they have now heard from the memory clinic and we've moved up the chain but I was unfazed to hear that there isn't a time scale for the final decision and that's because there is only so much room in my head for crises.  Ash did get a little antzi about still not being able to drive but I told him I couldn't deal with any more stress so he'd just have to go with the flow.  This attitude rarely works nowadays but something must have got through as he looked at my face and then walked calmly away.

Ash and I have always had the attitude that things could almost always be worse so, working on this same assuption here is my current list:

  • Mum's in hospital but she isn't seriously hurt and is actually enjoying all the attention.  She's also realised that she can't continue with the way of life she's been trying to hold onto and, instead, seems to embracing the changes I've suggested with an enthusiasm I haven't seen for a while.
  • The boiler's broken but we have an emersion heater for hot water and an open fire to sit in front of.  On top of that we have a really helpful plumber who comes when he says he's going to (!!!!) and he says he's coming tomorrow morning if not before.
  • Ash still doesn't have his driving license but if he's stressing about it he's at least not moaning to me.
  • I thought I was going to have to stay at mum's tonight as well as tomorrow night in order to get her from the hospital and settled at home but I've managed to re-arrange appointments so that I only need to be away from home for one night.
  • The 'posh lunch club' doesn't have any beds for respite when mum comes home but she can go as many days during the week as she wants to.
So you see things aren't all bad and they could be so much worse.

If you have any suggestions, tips or strategies I haven't thought of please let me know and if there is anything on this blog you want to comment on please feel free.  


Michael said…
Wow, I don’t know how you do it!! I know we have a lot going on but Julie......i’m Glad your mums okay in hospital and Ash is calmer about the driving licence. We have just had two months that’s been very intense with Carole’s diagnosis and Carole also had both her cataracts done also! Hopefully we are entering into a calmer period now and we can look forward to a holiday in May with friends to Florence. But to coin a phrase, “ things can turn on a sixpence” keep up the fantastic work you do with Ash, your mum, blogs etc..........
Jane said…
Am really starting to believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Also have the most amazing friends who help make coping with it all possible.
Ann said…
Your positive attitude is amazing Jane. Whatever life throws at you, I feel sure, you’ll cope. I truly admire your strength. But, don’t forget it’s okay to ‘punch a pillow’ (suggested to me, when events threatened to overwhelm me) occasionally! Also, please know, there are so many of us willing you on, and wishing you and Ash all our love and best wishes.
Michael said…
I must apologise that i’ve been calling you Julie!! I thing this Dementia is catching Jane!
Jane said…
Dementia is definitely catching Michael and if you look at my post on Valentine's day you'll see that it's creeping up on me too. I bought Ash a card, put it in a safe place and still have no idea where it is. There is only so much space in our heads and the situation we find ourselves in takes up most of that space. I knew you'd catch on to my name at some point and if you didn't it really wouldn't have been the end of the world. As long as you stay with us we'll be fine.