Biting my tongue

Now that I'm in almost total retirement Ash and I are spending more time together, something we're both still adjusting to.  Today I suggested gently that perhaps the lawn needed mowing and  that in itself shows how he's changed.  Once upon a time the lawn was his pride and joy, it was mown to within an inch of its life and this was done weekly as a minimum but sometimes more.  Now it grows and grows until I can't stand it any longer and have to make a comment so today was that day.  The lawn at the back is divided in three with a fourth section at the front of the house and what I found very weird is that he mowed two sections at the back but not the third and also left the piece at the front.  When I plucked up courage to ask if he was leaving the unmown bits until tomorrow he gently pointed out that once I'd had time to settle down I would realise there was no hurry to do anything.  I bit my tongue and smiled sweetly!  This is most definitely not the man I have lived with for the past 37 years and it dawned on me all over again that he is turning into someone I don't recognise.  I also have no idea how to approach the subject if the lawnmower doesn't come out tomorrow (and, no, suggesting I do the mowing is not yet an option even though I'm more than willing) so this is yet another lesson to be mastered.

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Ann said…
I understand Jane. I’m aware that we all change as the years advance, but it’s the speed of change in a person when Dementia enters our lives, that takes us by surprise. With every new change, I’ve tried to adapt and accommodate, but it’s so difficult sometimes......and frequently sad.

However, the good news is, that I’m a great believer in being flexible and ‘loving the one your with’ (my beloved in all his ‘disguises’). So, like you Jane, there’s always some fun and laughter to be had. You are a very good influence on me! But thank you, for being so honest. I know I keep saying this, but your posts do help me feel less alone.
Jane said…
As a friend said earlier today one of the problems is that most of the time they hide it all so well and we're then lulled into a false sense of security. As a result we forget and then something like this happens and we remember all over again.
Ann said…
So true Jane.