There is no end to what can be achieved if you believe

So we came through the beautiful wedding relatively unscathed.  We stayed away from home for two nights; we looked after the five and a half year old and got him to the church on time (looking beyond cute of course); we scrubbed ourselves up pretty well; we mixed and mingled with people we didn't know and made conversation; we met up with old friends and made new ones and all was right in our world for most of the weekend.  It took some planning and it's taken some recovering from but I was just thinking to myself 'well that went quite well' when I remembered something and that memory came from last year when we were told to save the date.  I of course said we would but to be honest I really wasn't sure we would make the wedding at all.  I can't now remember the detail but life was, and still sometimes is, difficult.  Ash had mood swings which I was just learning to handle and I couldn't even begin to think about life twelve months down the line.  Dementia is degenerative and I couldn't see how NEXT YEAR he could possibly be able to attend a wedding four hours drive from home in a place we didn't know, surrounded by lots and lots of people we didn't know, dressed in clothes we wouldn't normally wear (and when you have dementia that's a really big deal) and staying in a house where all would be unfamiliar.  So for all of you people out there living a life affected by dementia my advice is if you want something badly enough (and I really, really didn't want to miss the wedding of someone who has played such an important part in the past 30 years of our lives) you need to believe that it may be possible.  Planning will be key and you will need it on the scale of a military operation.  There will be a fall-out afterwards of course but if you can pull it off it will be worth it and you will have the added benefit of feeling proud of yourself.  Of course it won't for one minute be as it would have been in the past.  Then we would have booked the cottage for the week, have danced until midnight and drunk the champagne bar dry but we got there, enjoyed ourselves and joined in the special day of someone who is very special to us showing that indeed it can be done.

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Lesley said…
Just amazing! You are an inspiration!
Jane said…
I don't feel inspirational but I'm getting better at battling my way through I hope.
Sarah H said…