Thinking everyone else is better at this .....?

I've decided that it's very easy when you read things written by others living a life affected by dementia to think that they have all the answers, that they were instantly accepting of what was happening to them and that they had a handle on it all from the beginning.  I read Wendy Mitchell's book (gave it the wrong name yesterday so you might, if you're looking for it, like to know it's called 'Somebody I Used to Know') and thought just that, then I had another look at the home page of her blog and realised that, just like the rest of us, she'd thought the diagnosis meant the end of life.  Partly, she says, that was because no-one told her any different and I  know that feeling.  You may remember, if you've been with me for a while, that Ash was given his diagnosis then told to wait for a prescription before we were sent home having been told that someone from the clinic would contact us in 12 months for a review.  Nobody told us it was possible to live well with dementia, no-one said that it wasn't the end, just 'here's a prescription to delay the symptoms and we'll give you a call in four weeks to see if it's making a difference'.  We returned home dazed, feeling mentally battered and bruised and, if it hadn't been for the discovery of Contented Dementia Trust five months later, we would I'm sure still be in that same state.  So does everyone have all the answers?  I think not.  I think that even people like Wendy are finding their way, that those celebrities we hear about who've been given the diagnosis are panic stricken and working out what's happening to them and it's all made so much more difficult because ever single case is different so no-one can give us a definitive guide to dementia and how to incorporate it into our lives.  What we all need then is to have faith in ourselves.  To ask for advice when we don't know what to do, to read as much as we can on the subject, to listen to what others have to tell us but then have confidence to sort the wheat from the chaff and, if we feel something isn't right for us, then we need to find the way that is.  It's that confidence which will make the difference to those around us.

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