Bouncing back

You'll be pleased to know that, as usual, I've bounced back from the holiday and all the sadness it engendered quite quickly helped I think by the fact that Ash has been so relaxed since we got home.  I'm not sure whether he knows deep down that I won't take him away from home again or whether it's just that, having made that decision, I'm more relaxed but whatever the reason he's happy and contented so I can't ask for much more really.  So my big decision was that we won't be going on holiday together any more but Ash has made a big decision of his own.  For the past 30+ years he's spent the winter bush beating (vegetarians and vegans should look away now.  If you're neither but don't know what bush beating is then click on this link http://www.nobs.org.uk/beating to find out more).  Over the past 3 or 4 years he hasn't gone often but was very proud of the fact that he had a 'Working' Cocker Spaniel who actually 'worked' and the two of them spent many hours out in the cold, rain and wind walking through fields and woods supposedly looking for pheasants.  Two years ago the friend whose shoot he went to phoned me to ask if he was ok, last year she knew about the dementia and we discussed what support Ash would need (that discussion and the offer of support was mind blowing in itself) this year I think he's become far more frightened of life on the outside of our village and has decided that he would prefer to give it all a miss.  I'm relieved about this on so many levels but also sad for him that something else he has always loved doing no longer gives him any pleasure.

Back to me though and the suggestion from Ann yesterday on getting creative with life which has had such an effect that I now have something in the very, very early planning stages which I think will inject some much needed excitement into my life.  Watch this space.

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