A boost to my self esteem

A couple of days ago a friend who I've recently connected with after several (for that read 40) years shared this blog on her fb page and the number of views for that day shot through the roof.  Then yesterday a piece I posted on here a couple of months ago went out as part of the YoungDementiaUK (https://www.youngdementiauk.org/) bi-monthly newsletter and the number of views went even higher.  It was also shared on the organisation's fb group and some lovely comments followed all of which has given a huge boost to my self esteem but also made me realise how far I've come in the last two years.  I first came into contact with Kate at YoungDementiaUK when she emailed me to say a reporter had read the blog and been in touch to see if I would be willing to talk to him.  At that moment my confidence was at an all time low so Kate's email gave me a huge boost but for various reasons I decided it wasn't a good idea.  The feeling that overwhelmed me at the time however was one of sadness that I couldn't talk to Ash about it.  Before dementia entered our lives he would have been so proud of me and so supportive but now it wasn't something I could even share with him as he wouldn't understand and his confusion would make him uncomfortable.  Today when I had the email from Kate telling me the number of views of the fb page, the number of people who'd read the newsletter, the number of messages received I was amazed, proud of myself but also content with not being able to share it with the one person who would once upon a time have glowed with pride at what had happened.  I wouldn't wish what's happened to us on anyone but it has made me stand on my own two feet, has taught me to value myself and has shown me that I am a person in my own right.  I wish I could still share everything with him but I can't and acceptance of that fact has made all the difference.

On a very positive note we did our usual weekly grocery shop this morning (usual day, usual shops, usual items) but for the first time ever (and I do know it's still only November) Ash looked at Christmas cards with me, commented favourably on decorations and suggested we went back on a different day to buy them.  This has never, ever happened before and showed all over again that there are positives to this new life we're living.  The sharing opportunities might be few and far between but they are still there if I watch carefully.

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Lesley said…
Absolutely brilliant all round - wish you were close enough that we could have lunch out to celebrate!
Unknown said…
Brilliant, Jane! Well done!
Still thinking how to get you more exposure.
dasntn said…
Hi - I am one of the new visitors to your blog, directed here by a link from a YoungDementiaUK newsletter.
I can relate to all of it, although my wife's journey is somewhat different, and some of the things that work
for you two are not what works for us, but it is still really useful and interesting to read!

Thanks for writing this blog, and for keeping the tone so positive. It is so easy to fall into the trap
of self-pity, but your approach really helps give me strength.
Jane said…
Thank you all for these comments and I look forward to the future when the blog might reach lots and lots of people far and wide. dasntn, welcome and am really pleased you've found this helpful but would also be really interested to know what strategies you have found that have worked for the two of you. As you say, different things work for different people but the more strategies we have to choose from the more successful we might be. At the very beginning of all this I didn't even know the rule about not asking questions or the effect it had when I did ask them so just that one suggestion from a friend transformed our lives. All help therefore is gratefully accepted.
Jan said…
Hi Jane Just to say I have not read anything that resonated with me as much as your beautifully written post on Young Dementia
We have also been together 15 & 16 married for 43 years
You say it from the heart & exactly as it is
My husband was diagnosed at 60 BVFTD so 4 years in....but looking back symptoms appeared much earlier
I describe it as being on a boat without a paddle!
You certainly have to be in it to understand
Thank you
Jane said…
Thank you so much Jan for your lovely comment. I wrote the first draft of that a few months ago but it's still so true and however much I think I've come to terms with everything I still can't read it without crying. However, as a friend said recently, the only way to deal with it all is 'Onward and upward'. Feeling sorry for ourselves isn't going to change anything but with a positive attitude we can achieve almost anything we want to.
Ann said…
Well deserved recognition Jane. Keep it up, you are a terrific writer.
Jane said…
Thanks Ann, you always say the nicest things.
Sue said…
Hello my name is Sue
My husband was diagnosed with MND FTD about 8 months ago. It’s reassuring to see other people’s comments and know I’m not alone.
Jan, I see your husband has FTD too.
I can’t get to sleep tonight so thought I’d make my first post.
Jane said…
Hi Sue, I can't sleep either. Must be something in the air but it's nice to know you're along for the ride.