Another black hole

Got home yesterday after a day clearing stuff from my mum's house to find Ash in fine form.  He'd apparently been helping in the church yard and couldn't wait to tell me about helping to clear the gutters at the side of the drive down to the church door and as far as I could see all was well.  Cut to the very early hours of this morning and being woken to a frantic 'Jane' from the man next to me.  What day was it?  What time was it?  Where were we?  What had he been doing all day? The questions, along with the waves of panic, came thick and fast and at 1.40 am I was struggling to come up with the answers.  Eventually I suggested a cup of tea which seemed to meet with approval but by the time I got back upstairs with two steaming mugs Ash had gone back to sleep.  He woke as I set his down beside him and then had no recollection of what had happened or why I was providing tea at such an unearthly hour.  When he finally fell back to sleep I was wide awake and stayed like that for at least another hour before dozing off until 6.15 am.   The result of all that was that I began the day proper feeling as though someone had bashed me over the head with a cricket bat and consequently I struggled to stay calm and collected when Ash wanted to know exactly what we were doing and when and could we start whatever it was we were doing NOW!  I snapped and he was thrown into confusion but I managed to recover and he almost managed to calm down.  I then organised what we needed to do and in what order so we set off earlier than I expected, got finished quickly and also managed to get a bargain of a Christmas tree at the same time so all in all a day that began badly is ending quite successfully.  These black holes in Ash's recall though are becoming ever more frequent and the thing that keeps me more or less calm the vast majority of the time is the hope that by doing so I'm providing him with some sort of anchor in his world.

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