Decisions, decisions, decisions
If you're not in our situation, if you're not sharing your life with a spouse/partner who is living with dementia but you've read enough of this blog to think you've got your head around it a little you might think that the hardest part of it all is making those big life decisions on your own. Should you change the car now or wait a year? Should you move utility companies to try to reduce payments and if so which one? Should you make another attempt at a holiday and if you do what do you need to think about (and believe me it's a very long list)? Should you move your mum into a home or leave her a little longer to fend for herself with diminishing input from you because you have to prioritise your support between two of the most important people in your life? Should you give up work and accept your changed financial state now or should you wait a little while longer and continue to juggle things? But if you're actually living this life you'll know that often it's the smallest of decisions which are the hardest. Yesterday, for me, the decision of the year was 'Shall I make gravy to go with the pork or will the smoked bacon jus provided by M & S in the pack be enough?' You have no idea how long I agonised over this, deciding in the end to make it but afterwards pouring it all away unused! It may be a lesson learned but in reality by next Christmas I'll most probably have forgotten all about it. One of the things I did manage to do though for the first time, which has also added to my growing self-esteem, was to carve the pork. It was the smallest joint in the world but I managed it, the slices were neat and just the right thickness and I can add that to the ever expanding list of new skills I'm accumulating.
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