Holidays, celebrations and me

So it seems I'm not very good at things like Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc.  All those things that have had a special meaning in our lives with their own traditions and points of reference are so different now as to be unrecognisable from the past and I've realised over the past few days that I still haven't dealt with that aspect of dementia.  In day to day life I really feel I've got a handle on it all but the past few days have made me understand that I still spend lots of time looking back and wishing for our old life all over again.  A friend suggested a couple of weeks ago that possibly I was over thinking one particular event and I agreed but still failed to take it on board. It took a comment on Thursday's post to show me the error of my ways and that is why I love writing this blog.  Lots and lots of you are battling with your new life in the same way I am and we all seem to cope with different parts and struggle with others but the support I get from realising other people completely understand and have strategies which I haven't thought of makes such a difference.  On Thursday, as reported, we went out for the day and had such a lovely time that I almost forgot all this but then Ash was grumpy afterwards and I was disappointed.  A comment on that post however made me understand that the problem was mine and that what I needed to remember was Ash joining in, laughing, contributing to the day and quite obviously enjoying himself for those few hours.  The drive home then, and the evening which followed, were really unimportant in the wider scheme of things.  In the moment he'd enjoyed himself as had the rest of us and that's what I needed to focus on not the aftermath which he forgot as quickly as the rest of it.

Yesterday we spent the day with friends along with Jake and the 6 year old.  We had a lovely time and once again Ash joined in, commented, laughed, joked and obviously enjoyed himself.  This time, taking advice from Thursday's blog comment, I focused on that and ignored everything else which meant we both enjoyed it and I could look back on it all with a smile which is pretty much all we can ask of life I think.

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