What pushes your buttons?

I snapped at Ash yesterday and I'm not really sure why.  I've made a pact with myself not to snap, not to be irritated and to accept that this is how life is for as long as we have left together.  The fact that he makes the same comments about quiz show contestants we've already seen doesn't bother me; I find it amusing that he moves things around from cupboard to cupboard and doesn't think it odd to put a bread loaf anywhere other than the bread bin; it really doesn't matter that he comes through every evening while I'm cooking tea to ask me which lights I want on in the dining room.  None of this has any impact nowadays but when he came home from walking the dog yesterday and told me for the third time that he'd met the nanny with the baby from the new family who've recently moved into the village I thought it important to tell him for the third time that it wasn't the nanny but the mother and her baby.  For the third time he didn't believe me and I snapped at him but why?  It really wasn't important, we don't even know them and we're unlikely to get to know them so why did I feel he should be in full possession of the facts?  I have no answer to that but I do know I felt bad about it for ages afterwards and have resolved that, if the subject comes up in the future, I'm just going to agree which is what I should have done yesterday.  I have to say at this point though that I'm fairly sure I'm not on my own here so what I'd really like to know is what pushes your buttons and how do you keep your cool?

Don't forget you can sign up to have this delivered straight into your inbox just remember to click on the validation email (which may not be in your inbox).  You can share specific posts with others by clicking on the 3 dots at the top right hand corner of the page, you can share the blog by copying and pasting the web address www.memoryfortwo.com or you can email me at memoryfortwo@gmail.com if you have anything you want to say privately.


dasntn said…
I know exactly how you feel. I decided long ago not to argue, and not to get angry, but still sometimes it comes out, and then I am left feeling very sorry, and feeling that I have let my wife down. It's almost never over anything important.

I have a theory! I think that as humans, we sometimes like to have an argument or disagreement, part of what makes us human I guess. But we know that we can't do that with partners who suffer this condition, so we are robbed of that small part of being who we are (along with much else) - and sometimes we can't help it, it just comes out.
Lesley said…
I wonder if it is something to do with things that affect the outside world - it is easier to deal with stuff that is in your private domain than stuff that might affect 'others', especially 'others' who might not understand? Could be a panic/protective reflex??
Jane said…
Think you both might be right. I know I've never, ever gone this long without disagreeing with Ash. Before dementia entered our lives we'd got to the point where were rarely actually argued but we often had mild disagreements about things so to go along pretending Ash is right about everything goes against the grain more than slightly. I also have a thing about information being correct and this wasn't. Hopefully, having put him right this time, if it happens again I'll be able to listen to him being wrong on the subject of the nanny and keep my mouth shut. Either that or I'll find she really is the nanny and discover the pleasure in not having to admit I was the one in the wrong.
Ann said…
Oh my goodness if I had a hundred pounds for every time I’ve snapped this year, I’d be a rich woman. But then again I’d be even richer if the same applied to every time I’ve ‘bit my tongue’.

We’re only human, we’re trying to cope with the most difficult disease in modern times, we’re doing our best with no real training or expertise and we are doing the best we can. Please don’t feel bad.