Friends and how to keep them

I met someone last week who's in a similar situation to me but further down the line as her husband is now in a care home.  We chatted for quite a while with me asking lots and lots of questions and then completely out of the blue she said 'and of course all our friends have disappeared'.  It was the 'of course' that threw me as we haven't lost a single one, not only that but friends we haven't seen for a while have come back into our lives offering their support and, as you'll know if you read yesterday's post, we've even gained some brand new friends.   So why have our friends been so amazing?  I'n fairly sure they aren't the only nice people in the world but they're with us all the way where it seems in other lives friends have fallen by the wayside.  I've thought about this ever since that conversation and I realised I've written about it before, in fact a whole year ago.  You may have already read the post and remember it in which case there's no need to go any further but if you've either forgotten it or have only just joined us then you might want to click on the link https://www.memoryfortwo.com/2019/01/a-guide-to-keeping-our-friends.html to find out my views on keeping your friends by your side.  I couldn't manage without any of ours.


Don't forget you can sign up to have this delivered straight into your inbox, just remember to click on the validation email (which may be in your junk mail/trash box).  You can share specific posts with others by clicking on the 3 dots at the top right hand corner of the page, you can share the blog by copying and pasting the web address www.memoryfortwo.com or you can email me at memoryfortwo@gmail.com if you have anything you want to say privately.  You can also now follow me on twitter, just search for Memory For Two.

Comments

Brenda said…
It is lovely that we have caught up again after a lot of years and i look forward to reading your blog every day. We must meet up again when you are able. If you think Ash would be able to cope then it would be lovely to see him again too he was always lovely when he came to visit his Mum.
Ann said…
I started following u last year my husband was diagnosed April 2017 aged 49
Our friends have slowly disappeared which makes me sad but ner mind as a family
We’re doin our best to get on with things (we’ve 2 boys 13 & 16y)
Jane said…
I'd love Ash to meet up with you Brenda but if I'm honest he's not really happy outside the village unless it's to go food shopping. I'm up for another coffee though.
Jane said…
That's really sad Ann but it says more about them than it does about you. Have you found any new friends through this 'adventure' you're in the middle of?
dasntn said…
Hi

I guess I am lucky that my friends have very much stayed with me and helped me through this journey, but it is easy to fall off the radar when you are full time focused on caring for someone. I wrote a song about that (of course I did!) https://soundcloud.com/user-609107502/somethings-going-on-demo-version - not a very good recording but there you go!

David
Ann said…
Yes I’ve met some new ladies who are in simplest situ & thst helps me
I’m guessing my friends don’t really understand & are unsure how to deal with it I’m
More sad for my husband tho .. he’s still the same person but u love n learn
Jane said…
One of the reasons I think friends fall by the wayside, apart from not knowing what to say or how to deal with it, is that they're busy especially if they're working or have young families and the younger the person living with dementia the more likely I think that will happen. As you get older you're more likely to have friends who've retired. We're lucky not just because our friends have stuck by us but also because they have the time to think about us and time to offer help. I'm not sure I was quite such a good friend when I was working as there was always too much else going on in my head.

David I love the song. You always manage to put into words how I feel.

dasntn said…
Thanks Jane - I find it helps me deal with my thoughts and feelings in a positive, creative way :)
Jane said…
Would you mind if I shared the link on twitter (not sure if that sounds 'cool' or just stupid as I'm very new to it all)? I can't be the only person who would recognise the feelings behind the words. Just say if you'd rather I didn't.