A walk shows the way forward
My Tuesday morning walking pal wasn't available today so I dropped casually into the conversation that I was going out and wondered if Ash wanted to come too. Told him where I was planning on walking and felt really happy that he sounded so enthusiastic about the whole idea. H was ready to leave before I was and all the signs were that this was going to be a lovely morning just like the old days (when will I ever learn?). First indications that all was not well came in the form of a rigid, silent travelling partner for all of the six miles we had to drive down the road. We then walked the first hour in almost total silence but the sun was shining, the views were lovely and the dog was happy so all was not lost. When we finally reached the halfway point and I announced we were now on our way back he brightened up a little and even managed a couple of comments about the scenery but when, further on and to fill the silence, I remarked on what a lovely walk it was I was met with silence. A querying look provided the response that his knee was hurting and then it was silence again until we got back to the car half an hour later (this, again, from the man who would walk from sunrise to sunset and think he'd had a short stroll in the countryside). Silence again until we turned into the drive and then he brightened up and began to chat. Other people talk about 'adventure before dementia' but in this house a lesson I really must learn is that, however much Ash thinks he wants to go out and do something different, once he's out of the village the world becomes a scary place. If I can just remember that he really would rather stay at home we'll both do quite well. Life is different but it's only difficult if I don't take note of his fears and anxieties.
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