A new theory

I have a theory about why Ash is anxious when we're in the outside world and it came to me when I was thinking about my walk with him last week.  If you remember I'd persuaded him to come with me on a walk out in the Wolds with the dog.  He was so enthusiastic when I suggested it and that enthusiasm lasted right up until we got out of the drive and onto the road then anxiety set in and stayed with him until we were back home.  I really couldn't understand why he was anxious as I knew where we were going, we wouldn't be far from home and it's not exactly the middle of nowhere but I've been pondering it all ever since and realised that whenever we been for walks in the past he's always been in charge.  In charge of the map, in charge of the compass, in charge of getting us from A to B and that's what's lodged in his mind.  Over the past few months I have actually managed more or less to read a map and to plan a walk but Ash doesn't know that and, even if I told him, he wouldn't remember and he wouldn't believe me.  And why should he?  After all, for forty three years I haven't been able to do those things (or rather, I haven't bothered to learn) and would never have attempted a walk into unknown countryside without him so how is he supposed to know he can trust me now.  All of this explains, I think, exactly why he's anxious when we venture out.  He think he still needs to be in charge and he knows he can't do it so feels completely unsafe in my company.  That's a very sobering thought for me to get my head around.

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