Good news stories and positive vibes

There has been much hand wringing on Twitter and fb forums from people who are currently unable to visit their loved ones in nursing homes around the world.  Comments such as 'I haven't seen him/her for 2 days and I'm distraught', 'how is she/he going to manage without seeing me?' and so on gather support from all areas but I'm here to put another side to the story.  I can see that if your parent/spouse/life partner is at the end of life, receiving palliative care or is very ill that you really want to be with them but otherwise, if you have faith in the care they're receiving on a daily basis (and if not why are they still there?), then mostly they probably won't even notice you're not there.  I had a long conversation with the manager of my mum's care home yesterday about a number of topics but one question I asked was 'what difference has it made not having visitors into the home?'.  Apparently since the 'no visitors' policy was introduced residents are chatting to each other more, they're building better relationships between each other and with staff, they're joining in with games and activities more and meal times have become more sociable occasions and all because they're not waiting for that visit and they're having to rely on each other.  Those that notice the lack of visitors are able to understand the reasoning behind it and those that don't are just enjoying themselves.  I have to say that I'm so pleased my mum is there and doesn't have to worry about self isolating, about empty shelves, about falling ill; yesterday she phoned me and from her opening comment it was obvious she had a urine infection.  She wanted to know where her handbag was as she needed to go out and buy something and of course she wasn't in a home, she was in a shop in the uphill of Lincoln and she needed money NOW.  How would I have coped if she'd still been at home?  And as for self isolating, she wouldn't have needed coronavirus to strike as her brain would have shut down within the first two days.  So I think it's time to keep some perspective here.  If your loved one is in a care home and you're worried about not seeing them phone and ask the same question I did.  'What difference is your 'no visitor' policy making to your residents?'.  You might be surprised by the answer.

On another positive note Ash helped with a church yard clear up session yesterday.  I don't know whether he offered his services or whether he was asked but I do know that by the time I got home from my walk he was in full swing with the wheel barrow.  This was 'total inclusion' as opposed to 'token inclusion' and made so much difference to his self esteem.  He was part of a team, he was useful and at the end of the day he was full of information about what they'd been doing.  The feeling of well-being carried on into this morning and when he woke he reeled off a list of jobs he needed to get on with in the garden.  They might not get done but that really doesn't matter.  What does matter is that he was with friends and included as an equal which makes him far more capable than if left to his own devices.  I am always so grateful that we live in such an amazing and supportive community.  It really does make a difference to our lives.

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