Life is getting back to 'normal'
After a week without heating the boiler is fixed and the house is becoming warm again. Great news but the week highlighted the importance to Ash of feeling useful. All last week when coal, sticks and logs were so important he was responsible for them and he thrived. What was particularly striking was that he knew without being told that they were important and that made the difference. No pressure from me or anyone else just a daily routine of getting out there, gathering it all together and putting everything in front of the fireplace so that I could light it and keep us warm. The smiles and jokes were back (not to original level but close), conversation was there and he was feeling good about himself and his role in our relationship. Cut to this morning when we woke to warm radiators. Stupidly I forgot that we'd moved on so when he asked what we were doing today I listed my mundane chores and then, as a final comment and without thinking, said 'and you just need to split some logs'. Ash went rigid with apprehension, conversation stopped and he instantly needed to get up and dressed so that he could get out there and work out which pieces of wood, what shape, what size ......... all the things he'd done without thinking for a whole 6 days. And this ladies and gentleman is why I find myself almost permanently exhausted. As someone said yesterday it's the need to remember for both of you, the need to plan ahead, the need to cover all eventualities, the need to think before we speak at all times which brings on the exhaustion. So I'm very pleased to be warm once again but just for a short while being cold really wasn't the end of the world.
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