Make the most of your life while you can.

I've been in a slightly reflective mood over the past few weeks and in my thoughts have been trying to work out when exactly dementia entered our lives.  I still can't pin it down precisely but I realised this morning that the very last holiday we had where he was his completely normal self was also our last family holiday.  Ten years ago we went ski-ing in the French Alps and we went by train from St Pancras Station in London and we travelled business class.  It was a huge extravagance and one we couldn't really afford but I was fairly sure it would be our very last holiday together just the three of us and I made sure we pushed the boat out.  We boarded the train in London to be met with a glass of champagne and then it was sheer luxury until we reached the Alps seven hours later.  It was an amazing week where we ski-ied together most of the time, ate together, laughed together, enjoyed people watching together and just had a good time as a family.  The thing was that we couldn't afford it but I'm so glad we did it and didn't wait until the time was 'right' because of course, with hindsight, I know now that if we hadn't done it then we would never get another chance.  From then on Ash's behaviour changed so that he was almost permanently anxious, he laughed less, he enjoyed life less and that holiday would most definitely not have been the joy that it was.  So that's been a lesson I've been contemplating.  If you want to do something do it now (or at least as soon as you can after this crisis is over), don't wait until the time is right, don't wait until you feel things will work better, don't wait until you're not so busy, do it while you have the chance.  If you can't afford whatever it is you want to do work out a way to do it that won't break the bank.  When Jake was little there was a particular hotel in France that I always hankered after staying at but it was really expensive.  We never did get to stay there but we managed one year to stay in a self catering apartment half a mile away and visited for champagne cocktails on the terrace each evening which was in fact just as good.  There is always a way, you just need to think outside the box.  So if you're looking for something to do while we're in this lockdown use your time productively and start planning for when it's all over.  Dream big and then, having scaled down those dreams, follow them as soon as you can.  If you don't do it now you may never get the chance again.

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dasntn said…
Very good advice. If not now, when are you going to do it?

Jane said…
Exactly David and it's so easy to think 'we'll do that one day'. We still had a long list of things we were going to do but now I'll be doing them on my own.