'Me' time

I discovered today that 'me' time can be found in the unlikeliest situations.  It can be found in the car, in the supermarket, queuing outside the fruit and veg shop, in fact it can be found at the moment anywhere out of the house where I can be on my own.  In the dim and distant past 'me' time would almost always be at a day spa where I could lie in peace and read my book or enjoy a head massage so soothing it put me to sleep; when I was working on a project a long way from home 'me' time could be found on the 5 hour journey to check everything was working as it should; for a while it could be found in an evening once a week when Ash went to the local pub quiz but the thing was I didn't really need 'me' time.  What I needed was time for 'us', time when we could be away from the stresses and strains of work and one of the reasons we went on holiday so often was just so we could be together.  Now however I need to escape the 'us' bit and find myself and I need to do it quite often at the moment so this morning's shopping trip was a wonderful opportunity to do just that and, although this may be a very odd thing to say, I enjoyed every minute of it.  This afternoon however I took the dog out, again on my own, and thought about that shopping trip with no small amount of sadness.  Those trips you see, until this lock down, were almost the only thing left that Ash and I did together.  They weren't without their stresses and this morning's solo trip was certainly easier when I didn't have to keep one step ahead and plan for every eventuality but it wasn't quite the same and seemed like another thing lost.  And the really sad thing is that by the time this is all over we'll be into a new way of doing things from which we may never recover.

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dasntn said…
Hi Jane
I know how you feel. A slow amble around the aisles of Morrisons, and maybe a visit to the cafe was one of the hilights of our life together till this all happened. Strange how our horizons adjust to fit the world of dementia.

Jane said…
I find it quite amazing how we grow used to things. At the beginning of our dementia trip I chafed and chafed about staying in every evening, about rarely having friends around, about doing the same things every weekend but now I find it all a little comforting and certainly not strange. And the less we do the less I notice when yet another activity falls by the wayside. I'm also grateful that we didn't have to drop from our old life straight into this lockdown.
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