Positivity and fitness back on board

At the very beginning of this lockdown I decided to work out with Joe Wicks on Youtube every morning alongside all of those children his PE session was designed for.  I managed it for five days before realising I was constantly aching in places I didn't know existed.  The good thing about this was that it gave Ash something to laugh at every time I hauled myself off the sofa in the evening but the bad thing is that self esteem is as important to those of us living alongside dementia as it is to those living directly with it and my self esteem was taking a knocking at the acknowledgment that I can't keep up with those still at primary school so I gave up.  Now the interesting thing here is that in my previous life I very much adhered to the Quentin Crisp train of thought 'if at first you don't succeed maybe failure's your thing' and ordinarily I would have collapsed back onto that comfy sofa and given up completely.  However this dementia that's entered our lives has produced a whole new me, one who's determined to see things through or at least to find a solution to any problem she encounters so I had to think of a way round it all.  I considered running in the form of following the Couch to 5K programme which I've started twice but never finished but each time I woke up and thought about putting my trainers on I sank back onto my pillow and decided it was too much effort so what else?  It wasn't just the fitness aspect either, I needed some time to myself where my thoughts would go uninterrupted but Ash had started coming along on the afternoon walks with the dog and I was also beginning to realise that the dog, at 11 years old, was getting a bit too old for two long walks in a day so I was getting desperate for that all important exercise on my own.  To cut a very long story short several stars aligned and I've now managed to juggle things so that I get both exercise and head space each day which is I think no mean feat.  The first thing to happen was Ash's knee beginning to ache.  In the scheme of things at the moment an aching knee is not important and if he sits with it up for a couple of hours it's then ok for the rest of the day but it does mean he's not keen on too many walks so that combined with the suggestion that the only long walk the dog needs is his morning one with Ash and we were back on track.  This morning when Ash got back from that long walk I took myself along 4 miles of country lanes completely on my own then this afternoon saw me out for half an hour to give the dog his second (brief) walk of the day and it looks as though we're on course for a new fitness regime that won't leave me aching and demoralised and I'm feeling really good about it all.

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