A walk in the rain

Ash was the always the one in our relationship to like the great outdoors and he introduced me to walking, to camping, to cycling and all those other activities that get you out in the fresh air whatever the weather.  The slight difficulty was that I'm not sure I really enjoyed any of them to any great extent but if he didn't make me climb up big hills, tramp over ridges or cycle down anything steep I could cope and he was happy.  Not quite as happy as he would have been wild camping, cycling off road or climbing mountains but it was a fairly good compromise and we did it together.  A few years ago, one very cold and rainy Easter Monday, he suggested we took the dogs for a walk somewhere new so we piled in the car and set off through the driving rain stopping along the way at a garden centre for coffee.  Afterwards I was a little reluctant to leave the warmth of the cafe and, as we trudged back to the car he suddenly said 'well would you rather be at home in front of the fire?'!!  I think the answer to that would have been obvious to anyone glancing in our direction but I got in the car and off we went to start the walk where, I hate to admit, we had a lovely time and came back with a sense of achievement.  So if I needed any reminder of how things have changed all I have to do is compare that to our walk yesterday. We started off up the lane where the walk to the top takes twenty minutes and is usually the very beginning of a longer route but it started to rain and ten minutes into it Ash announced that, considering the weather, he thought we should turn round and go home.  This from the man who once laughed his way round a walk in an April snowstorm, a man who preferred being outside in a howling gale because it was more fun and a man who loved nothing better than getting his feet wet while tramping through a bog.  I have no idea of the whereabouts of my real husband but I do know that the person who's taken his place has turned my world into a sepia version of the original however I've learned that the only person who can make a difference to this version is me and that's what I'm now working on.

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dasntn said…

that's so sad. It gives such a clear picture of what has changed, and what has been lost.

all the best
Jane said…
It was sad but so much of this is and, if you let yourself, you can become overwhelmed by it all can't you? had a better walk yesterday and today but it's not quite the same anymore.