Life's improving

Yesterday was a really bad day from the moment I woke up until around 5pm when I had a complete melt down.  The difficulty with experiencing something like that when you have dementia in your life is that the most important thing is not your personal crisis but the well-being of the one actually living with dementia.  As we're discovering, how I feel and how I react to life events has a huge impact, for good or bad, on Ash and so the need to escape to the other end of the house and hide myself away was what was needed.  I managed it and although he commented afterwards on the fact that I looked as though I'd been crying he didn't really want to know and whereas, once upon a time, he would have put his arms around me and held me tight yesterday he was happy for me to just shrug it all off and move into the kitchen to cook tea.   The good thing was that having cried it all away I instantly felt lighter than I've done for days and this morning I was able to face the day with a smile.  So onto today where we've both been out in the garden; the lawn has been mowed, a flower bed's been weeded and it's all looking rather smart.  Not only that but I managed a solitary walk in the sunshine this morning and then we both went out this afternoon before a video chat with Jake and the 6 year old who doesn't mind this home schooling lark one bit.  So life's on the up again and I've realised that it's ok to sink into the abyss as long as you haul yourself back out again and carry on.

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