Should I be happy or sad?

Ash has always done the DIY in the houses we've lived in (only 3 in total but still ....).  he's self taught and I still remember the time I came home from work to find he'd taken a sledge hammer to the pantry wall and piled the bricks in the middle of the front lawn.  He then had to plaster the remaining wall to cover where the join had been but couldn't get the plaster to stick so watered it down and painted it on then wallpapered straight on top leaving a slightly less than professional finish.  He got better over the years and when we moved here just over thirty seven years ago there was lots to do.  Over the years he's replaced the kitchen three times including moving it to a different room once; redesigned the bathroom; plumbed in a utility room and shower room from scratch; knocked down sheds and replaced them with a raised brick patio and on and on until his 'piece de resistance' was to build a brick and tile veranda along the entire length of the back of the house.  So there was nothing I couldn't ask him to do but then dementia kicked in and he started ignoring jobs, showing less enthusiasm for changing anything and getting anxious when things couldn't be left any longer so yesterday, when he said he was going to fasten the hose pipe onto a bracket on the wall in the garden, I wasn't quite sure what to expect but he was enthusiastic so I left him to it and tried not to look.  This morning he's finished his project and I'm not quite sure what to think.  In the past he would have found something with which he could create a bracket and it would have been functional if not necessarily beautiful so at the beginning I was sort of expecting something like that however what I'd seen was lots of pieces of wood being sawn and what I'd heard was the sound of drilling so when summoned to see the finished project I went outside with no little trepidation.  And what he's created is ok and useful, just so far from what he used to be capable of that I'm sad.  Instead of the bracket he'd been so sure of we have a rickety, wobbly shelf with non-matching legs.  It's stained the colour of all the other woodwork in the garden (black) and it supports the hose pipe which is it's main purpose it's just that if he'd seen it anywhere else he would have been so scathing and instead he loves it.  So I'm happy that he's completed his project but sad that he's losing those skills ever more rapidly and not sure which of those feelings comes first.


Don't forget you can sign up to have this delivered straight into your inbox, just remember to click on the validation email (which may be in your junk mail/trash box).  You can share specific posts with others by clicking on the 3 dots at the top right hand corner of the page, you can share the blog by copying and pasting the web address www.memoryfortwo.com or you can email me at memoryfortwo@gmail.com if you have anything you want to say privately.  You can also now follow me on twitter, just search for Memory For Two, and you can find me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/Memory-for-Two-287197572048864.

Comments

Cornwall Girl said…
Hi Jane , Same issues here of course but the latest one for us was a photo of our house pre conversion was gifted to us but I could just not get it to hang straight. It was always on the wonk on the wall ...G said he would fix it so I also looked away and then came back to find the biggest nail he could have found knocked in the wall for the picture to rest on a sort of nail shelf . Youve got to laugh havant you :-)Ive since pulled it out with plyers so now have a large hole instead lol G hasnt noriced and Im not going to say anything.....
Tehachap said…
We are all in this together in more ways than one, aren't we? My husband has built room additions, garages and done all sorts of mechanical things, but those days are gone now. Given the time of day, he may have trouble opening a box. Sad... But he's mine forever, and I love him dearly, as I know other wives in this same place love their husbands.
Jane said…
We do but sometimes the only way through is to laugh. In fact I discovered tonight when I needed the hosepipe that the wonky table does the job so am living in the moment and accepting its wonkiness.
Tehachap said…
My first comment bounced back. No idea why... trying again: We are all in this together in more ways than one, aren't we? My husband has built room additions, garages and done all sorts of mechanical things, but those days are gone now. Given the time of day, he may have trouble opening a box. Sad... But he's mine forever, and I love him dearly, as I know other wives in this same place love their husbands.
Jane said…
Tehachap, I don't know why it bounced back because it was on here from the beginning and my reply was mainly to your comment. Great to have you commenting and looking forward to hearing from you again.