A momentous day
Today is the day I drove the truck out of the drive for the last time, the event which said, more than anything else, that Ash's driving days were over and I was very sad. Whether Ash was sad is a question that remains unanswered as I have absolutely no idea. I'd arranged to deliver the truck after lunch and just assumed that I would do it on my own but he decided otherwise and I was at a loss as to what to say or how to deal with it when he said he wanted to reverse it out of it's parking space and put it onto the track for the last time so watched silently as he did just that. Truck delivered we walked back home and it hasn't been mentioned since. Ash's truck was the second love of his life after the dog (I come quite a long way down that list nowadays I think) but he doesn't seem to have shed a tear and he won't talk about it. He's never been one for introspection or deep conversations so that part of it isn't unusual but what I'm finding difficult to deal with is that I really, really don't know what he's thinking. Even if he didn't talk about stuff I always had a good idea what was going on in his head but this man who I've shared my life with for over forty years is now a complete stranger, an imposter, someone I don't recognise one little bit and it feels very odd.
On the plus side for today I've just used the lawn mower we brought over from mum's and, unlike Ash's huge machine, this one didn't deliver me into the flower bed before I'd had time to gather my thoughts so that's one more thing to add to my list of new skills which seems to be getting longer by the day.
On the plus side for today I've just used the lawn mower we brought over from mum's and, unlike Ash's huge machine, this one didn't deliver me into the flower bed before I'd had time to gather my thoughts so that's one more thing to add to my list of new skills which seems to be getting longer by the day.
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Comments
. It was a big Ford diesel that we used for camping. I think that generally men get attached to cars more than women. I would love to trade both of our cars in for one new one but they are both in great shape and we don’t need to spend money on a new one.