Compromises, compromises (or not as the case may be)
Long term relationships, even the best of them, are all about compromising. Shall we change the kitchen or not? What sort of flooring should we put down? How much lawn do we really want out there? Before any decision is made there has to be a discussion, options have to be investigated and then suddenly there you are with the final choice which, if you're very lucky, satisfies both of you. This afternoon I discovered a real benefit to having dementia in our lives. It's almost up there with the realisation that I can have the little red sports car I've been dreaming of for a while because I will be the one driving it and it's certainly more immediate because I've taken the loppers to a bush I've disliked for several summers and by doing that have created a whole new seating area in the shade just for me. In the past Ash was in charge of the garden and he liked that bush but now he has no interest in what the garden looks like as long as I don't remove the ivy from his favourite shed so I looked at this bush which stood between me and the beautiful flower border I've also created, blocking my view of all the flowering shrubs, and went to fetch the loppers. Ash watched me walk backwards and forwards dragging branches to the garden bin but made no comment so I carried on lopping and dragging until, suddenly, the area was clear and I had a beautiful space where I can sit in the shade and read. I'm really excited about it all and very proud of myself for doing it but what really struck me was that, if it hadn't been for dementia, that bush would still have been in situ just because a compromise would have had to be made and I would have been the one making it. You see, life's not all bad, it just depends on your perspective.
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Don't forget you can sign up to have this delivered straight into your inbox, just remember to click on the validation email (which may be in your junk mail/trash box). You can share specific posts with others by clicking on the 3 dots at the top right hand corner of the page, you can share the blog by copying and pasting the web address www.memoryfortwo.com or you can email me at memoryfortwo@gmail.com if you have anything you want to say privately. You can also now follow me on twitter, just search for Memory For Two, and you can find me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/Memory-for-Two-287197572048864.
Comments
Now for the 150 boxes of books and crap we moved from our old house. He says he wants them. But nothing gets done. I'm ready to start sneaking one or two out a week to the dump!! He'd probably never even notice.