Yet another positive effect of lockdown

So lockdown has been good for some of us and not so good for others and much of that, I suspect, is down to where you are in this dementia experience.  Those much further down the line than us may have found it difficult to be without the support they rely on, the lack of groups and activities might have made life less interesting and being unable to get out of the house for some peace and quiet could, I can see, have meant less time to regroup and recover.  For us this has been nothing but positive.  Ash is happy to be at home without the pressure of wondering what he's supposed to do next and as for me, I've discovered a whole new person under the layers of the stresses and strains of the past few years.   I've reported on the weight loss (not great yet but getting there), I've told you about my new exercise regime and, this morning, I decided to go one step further and have a whole new hairstyle once I can get to a hairdressers.  This last won't be too difficult because I've gone from cropped and scrunched to Old English Sheepdog in a matter of weeks but there is still time to go so am hoping for some inspiration between now and then and might even have a look at some photos to see what I fancy.  All good there then but there is also the widening of my personal space.  This has always been a standing joke amongst my friends with some of them indicating in the past that they could tell the level of my alcohol intake by the number of hugs I dispensed.  Alcohol is now a thing of the past but even before the lockdown I'd noticed myself opening up more to those around me.  I cried more easily, I shared feelings more freely and I let people put their arms around me when I was really upset.  If you know me you'll probably be amazed at that, if you don't then I'm sure you get the gist.  This morning I joined a group of friends for a socially distanced coffee on the field in front of our house and we were talking about how strange it was to see people out in the village and, instead of crossing the road to be nearer to them, we moved in the opposite direction to get away from them and it suddenly occurred to me that just as my walls are beginning to crumble there's a different sort of barrier in the way but this one won't last forever and who knows what I'll be like when life returns to some sort of normality.

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