Your happiness, your responsibility
Years and years ago someone told me that she talked to her therapist of a friend who had an expectation of being happy in her life. That friend was apparently me and, at the time, I denied it of course but secretly thought 'doesn't everyone have that expectation?'. A few years later our lives began to unravel in spectacular fashion and I kind of gave up on the idea that happiness should be expected and I began to settle for second best, for happy most of the time or even happy some of the time. Recently I've come to realise that happiness is out there for the taking but it has to come from within; in effect the only person we can, and should, rely on for our happiness is ourselves. You can fill your life with the loveliest people (and I have), you can have most of what you want in life but the happiness itself cannot, and should not, rely on anyone else and certainly not on any one person. This morning I thought about the little red sports car I've promised myself sometime soon; of my travel adventure list and all the places I've been adding to it; of my friends, all of whom are amazing; of Jake and the 6 year old who never fail to fill me with joy and I smiled as happiness flooded through me and I realised I'll be ok as long as I have myself to rely on.
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