Minor adjustments needed for a weekend away

Jake and the 6 year old are coming on Friday and staying the weekend so I can have a couple of days away on my own.  This will be wonderful and something we did as soon as the easing of lockdown restrictions allowed.  That time I sat in Jake's house for the two days relishing the peace, quiet and total lack of responsibility so I know what I have to look forward to and I can't wait.  Last time there were a few wrinkles in our planning though.  Ash had written in his diary that they were coming for the weekend but he hadn't added that I would be at Jake's.  He did however talk about the whole thing to me so I, foolishly, thought that he'd taken it all on board and didn't think to check the reality.  Jake and the (not so) little one arrived on Saturday morning and I left around an hour later assuming that everything was under control but it appears not and that day Ash lived up to his name of 'Grumps' in every possible way.  Sunday he was much better but still managed to greet me with a list of complaints when I got home and appeared a little bewildered by the whole experience.  The thing is that Jake obviously went home and thought about it, working out what went wrong and what lessons we needed to learn ready for this weekend, and came up with the following changes:
  • We now have a weekly planning board on the kitchen wall so that everything is written down in full view and not reliant on what Ash thinks to write in his diary.  This weekend is on there in detail.
  • I have made sure the detail is written in his diary as well as talking to him about it.
  • Jake and the 6 year old are coming on Friday afternoon so that Ash has more time to get used to them being here before I leave on Saturday morning.
Am sure there will be more tweaks to make along the way but if we can do this every time I want to escape we stand at least a fighting chance of creating an environment where Ash feels safe even if I'm not here and that will make all the difference to him.

What I'm most impressed with though is that Jake went away and thought about what had gone wrong and what we could do to make sure this time was different.  I have no idea what I'd do without him.

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Unknown said…
He sounds like a lovely son very thoughtful 🤗
Frank said…
You are so organized and proactive. You seem to seem to think ahead and anticipate almost everything. I admire how you stay so objective and rational in keeping everything under control. Ash, though he doesn't know it now, is blessed to have one such as you to care for him. I can imagine how many are not so caring, compassionate and organized.
Tehachap said…
By coincidence, we're going away for the weekend as well, but Robert is going with me. I'm a bit anxious as my heart meds make me drowsy, but I'll get my music tapes in order (ala "As Good As It Gets"!) and will be sure to make regular stops for potty breaks. With the COVID crisis raging here in the U.S., I feel safer going TO my friends/family than to have them come and stay with us. We will have to be extra observant/cautious, but that's o.k. We can do this.
Jane said…
Still don't like the fact that I can't answer comments individually but we can't have everything we want in life so here are the replies to these three comments. Very thoughtful son and puts me to shame sometimes where his Dad is concerned. being organised and pro-active makes my life so much easier. If I can pre-empt problems it's easier to avoid them which is better for everyone. and I gave up going away with Ash last October after a difficult 4 day short break. Have realised he only feels safe at home and decided there are easier ways to spend the money but hope your trip goes well and if you have the determination am sure it will.