Relaxed, chilled and laid back

I've heard that happiness comes from contentment and that's been me today.  Most days contentment is my aim but as we know, I don't always manage it however my morning began well with a 5k walk in the sunshine at 7am and progressed to coffee with a friend I don't see often enough.  Came home for lunch and then spent the rest of the afternoon out in the garden weeding in the sunshine while listening to podcasts.  Not an ounce of stress to be had and only a little sadness that on the warmest day of the month Ash, who used to be the most outdoorsy person I knew, spent the hours inside either at his computer or in front of the tv.  It's at times like this that I know he's left me but there's a strength, I'm discovering, in becoming happy and contented in my own company.  The days when I was frightened for the future, when I didn't know how I'd survive without him and when I dreamed of it all being a misunderstanding or something which could be put right with medication are long gone and instead there's a realisation that I am strong enough to face life on my own.  So it's onwards and upwards while I make the most of days like today.

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