Back on track (again)

In an email to Jake last night, when I told him about the disappearing gammon and the reappearing pork pie, I asked 'why does he put the pork pies in the DVD cupboard?'  Jake's reply was 'Dad doesn't know why he does it so let's not bother asking the question even of ourselves' and he's right of course.  There is no rhyme or reason to dementia or to a dementia affected life it just 'is' and we are where we are with it so I'm back with the realisation that the only thing that can change is the way I look at it all and the only person who can make the change is me.  Disappearing and reappearing food is not the end of the world, it doesn't change the progress of dementia and, as long as I don't let it, it doesn't have any real impact on our lives so let's put it to one side and move on.   After a slightly difficult day yesterday then, I woke this morning to the realisation that I needed to get my head straight on all of this and to do that successfully I had to take back control of my life.  You may remember that a couple of months ago I had a problem with my eye and, as a result, took to walking 5K every morning in place of my running.  The walking worked well in keeping me fit but the running had given me a far greater sense of achievement so I got up, put the running gear on and set out on the old 5K route.  I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to do it but I did and felt so proud of myself.  Not only did I do it but the walking really had kept my fitness levels up so I didn't get out of breath (well only a little bit) and, when I got to the top of the lane, my reward was a fabulous sun rise right in front of my eyes.  I came home feeling pretty good and then took myself off to the local beauty salon to have my eyebrows shaped for the first time since the beginning of lockdown ten months ago.  This afternoon was spent outside in the fresh air helping friends with some garden clearance and now, twenty four hours after writing yesterday's post, I feel a totally different person.  I came across some words on Twitter earlier written by Amy Eiges and referring to low carb dieting but I think they're worth repeating here.  Amy said "Remember your 'why' and double down when the going gets tough".  Amy was talking about dieting, I'm talking about living a dementia affected life but the sentiment is equally relevant.  We are the only ones who can make the difference and, if life gets tough, for our own sakes we need to up the ante.

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