Do you ever wish ...........?
Do you ever wish life was different? Of course you do, we all do. Life would be so much easier if we had more money, more time, more people around us, fewer people around us, if we could go out to work, if we didn't have to work ................ Life is rarely exactly as we want it to be and a diagnosis of dementia highlights the loss of all those plans we had for the future, all those unfulfilled dreams and all those wants and wishes we now daren't put into words. HOWEVER is life ever all bad? Personally I find it easier to look for the silver linings in my life than to dwell on the things that are now missing or won't happen and my upcoming birthday is, I think, a case in point. If you've only just joined us or haven't been paying close attention you may have missed the fact that I have a big birthday arriving very soon and a few years ago when I thought about it I had lots of plans and ideas. We could go somewhere exotic on holiday; we could have a party in the garden with a band on the patio; we could hire somewhere big and fancy and invite everyone we'd ever met..... I do quite like to be the centre of attention so any of these would have been more than acceptable but then dementia struck and it seemed that my big birthday was going to be so very boring and I was full of disappointment. Gradually though I've worked my way through the fog and decided that it's up to me to decide whether life, and birthdays, are to be boring or as exciting as they would be if life was normal. With that in mind then I began to make different plans for my birthday and came up with the idea of a new car. Then I decided to arrange to pick it up on the actual day and suddenly the birthday was fun again. Since then friends, of whom there are many and every one of them wonderful, have been popping up with ideas so that now the birthday which had gone from huge and potentially glamourous to small and flat now consists of several days of fun including a long walk followed by lunch at a favourite coffee bar; sunrise at the beach followed by breakfast; a trip to Jake's and lunch out with the nearly 7 year old and associated adults; car collection with Ash, a drive round the countryside and possibly lunch out if he's up to it; tea on the field in front of the house; another lunch and on and on it seems. The birthday that once I'd relegated to the back of my mind so as not to be disappointed is turning out to be a week of treats that I'm looking forward to with undisguised glee and it's all depended on a change of perspective and the enthusiasm of those around me.