What makes a day good?
Today has been a very good day. Yesterday was a little difficult but not today. This day has been full of smiles and energy and efficiency. So 'what's made the difference?' I think I hear you ask and I've been wondering that myself. It could have been the clearing of my desk, the sorting of piles of paperwork, the baking or the fact that I've finally managed to move the DVD recorder from the sitting room, where it was feeling lonely and unloved, into my office/sanctuary where it is now hooked up to the TV and ready for action. Each of those activities has certainly contributed to my feeling of well-being but what I think started it off was my new, mint coloured, jumper. I know that might sound a little odd but stay with me while I explain and it might make more sense. The past ten years, for a variety of reasons, have been very dark and those dark days were reflected in my clothes. For almost the whole time I wore black; black trousers, black cami tops, black sweaters, just black, black, black. It matched my mood but more than that I think now that it reflected back onto me so that the more black I wore the more dark I felt. Things weren't all dull and awful because I had Ash remember and he could always make me laugh whatever life threw at us but there's no denying it was a difficult time and, in the process, I stopped thinking about what I wore. Just as Ash has now, I had several identical outfits all black, with the occasional bright cardigan to throw on top, but no clothes just for going out or just for work or just for weekends. I never varied in what I wore and I rarely looked closely at myself so if I ate copious amounts of chocolate or drank glass after glass of red wine and put on weight it didn't matter because I no longer noticed what I looked like and the odd time I did I didn't like what I saw which just added to the problem. Since March when I decided to put lockdown to good use where dieting and exercise were concerned I've dropped three dress sizes and feel fantastic. I've begun to notice myself again, I've begun buying clothes which aren't black and, last week, I finally went for a jumper in a very bright colour. And it was that very jumper that I put on for the first time this morning. I put it on, looked in the mirror and smiled because I liked what I saw; I felt full of energy and ready for anything which is always a good way to start a day. For those of you who wonder about my positivity you should know it's been a long, hard, slog to get here but this morning felt like a whole new phase in my life and although I know there are difficult time to come I also know that it won't all be bad.
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