Nothing quite like it
I've decided that there's nothing quite as odd as spending Christmas with someone who you used to know better than you knew yourself, someone who looks and sounds just like the person you planned to spend the rest of your life with, but then discovering it's all an illusion and that the person in question is just a pale imitation of the one that went before. Admittedly this happens sometimes in the course of our everyday lives but not as often as it used to so at Christmas, when everything is magnified a hundred times and memories are everywhere, it's particularly difficult to deal with. I'm not saying this is the worst that could happen to me because I know there are people out there going through much worse but what I do think is that to sit next to someone, to share this special time with them, while acknowledging they've already left you is dispiriting to say the least. My life isn't all doom and gloom of course and a walk with friends this morning followed by the loveliest of surprise gifts from another friend when I got home helped to raise those dampened spirits but I have to say I'll be pleased when this is all over and things get back to normal.
On the up side my new Christmas Fitbit shows I've done 18,593 steps today so I'm feeling very pleased with myself and I know it won't take a New Year resolution to stick to keeping fit.