Over the blip
So I had a bit of a blip when I found the Valentine card but I think that discovery actually did me a favour. I said, didn't I, that when dementia comes calling the happy memories are buried underneath all the hurt and anguish as you watch your life and your relationship fall apart but that card seemed to sweep all those awful feelings away. I didn't think that was going to happen and, to be honest, I wasn't sure how I'd pull myself out of the despair I felt but at 3am the following morning I woke up and suddenly realised that my head was full of the happiest memories I'd had in a long time. I remembered parties we'd been to, holidays we had, friends who'd been to visit, weekends away, walks on the beach and on and on but most of all I remember Ash, Jake and me laughing and laughing our way through life. We really did have fun and he could make me laugh from the minute I woke to the minute I went to bed. Life with Ash was always an adventure and however difficult life became, at least before dementia, he could brighten my day just by looking at me with the smile that was always in his eyes. I remember once, just before dementia, chatting to a friend about someone she knew who was miserable with her life. At the time I said 'how could you be married to someone who isn't your best friend?' and her reply was 'if you have that you're very, very lucky' and I remember now how lucky I was. So life is different now and that Ash is never coming back but I had it and so did he so the only way forward is to banish the dark times, make the most of today and look forward to the future without a heavy heart. And on that note I'd like to announce that not only is my bedroom finished but, if you'd like to see what I've done, the photos are on the facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Memory-for-Two-287197572048864
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