Another watershed moment
I've never got changed to go out of the house. I realise other people do that but I never have. I dressed in a morning and, unless we were going out for a meal or to the pub (and not always then), the clothes I put on in a morning were the ones I wore for the rest of the day. I didn't have work clothes and leisure clothes I just had 'clothes' and for many, many years those clothes were black so that I could fade into the background and go, mostly, unnoticed.
Recently however, as you know, I've lost weight, quite a bit of weight as it happens and as a result I've discovered a new interest in clothes. I look at them on-line and sometimes I buy them but we have dementia in the house and Covid in the outside world so we no longer go out and I could find no reason to wear the new clothes I'd either already bought or, sometimes, longed to buy.
Now, there have been several watershed moments along this road to dementia including the purchase of a chain saw, the discovery of an old valentine card given to me by Ash many years ago saying lovely things long since forgotten, the realisation that I could look in a mirror and like what I saw, the recognition that I will be able to survive on my own when all this is over, lots of moments that have each allowed me to move forward with a renewed spring in my step. Today's watershed moment though was truly revelatory.
I realised this morning that we may no longer go 'out' but I do venture into the world at least once each week by myself, especially now that I have my day off, and there is absolutely no reason why I can't get dressed up just for that. This afternoon I went to the dentist and before I set out I chose my outfit carefully; new trousers, new pale blue jumper, necklace/earrings, mascara on my newly curled lashes and, finally, my latest jacket. I have no idea whether anyone noticed but it didn't matter, I looked in the mirror before I left the house and liked what I saw which is the most important thing of all because I'm doing this for me and not for anyone else.