Thank goodness for friends
I think the weather affected my mood today. Thursday, Friday and Saturday were lovely and saw me out and about with friends on each of those days but today I felt sad and the only thing I can think is that the world outside was damp and grey and so was I.
Ash had been no different, in fact yesterday afternoon saw us having a cup of tea at the seaside followed by a lovely walk along the promenade in the sunshine and this morning was coffee at a new, now favourite, cafe half an hour's drive away but this afternoon I felt just a little sad and sorry for myself. Sorry that my world isn't as I thought it would be, isn't as I want it to be and I feel my life is on hold as everyone else's carries on around me.
This is nonsense of course. My life could be so much worse than it is. Ash continues to be lovely to me, he's happy for the vast majority of the time now and things are definitely better than they have been for a very long time but somehow today it wasn't enough.
I sat and pondered on everything that was wrong, on everything I wanted to do but couldn't and for once there seemed no way forward but then a friend phoned for a chat and suddenly all was well with the world.
It helps so much to know that friends are there but also to know that they're thinking of us while a laugh and a joke don't go amiss either. Forty five minutes later I felt like a completely different person, no blues, no 'if onlys', just a lightness back in my life and the realisation that there is lots to look forward to beginning with a trip north in a couple of weeks time to visit friends I haven't seen for months. That's another experiment with the lovely L staying, this time for two whole nights, so watch this space to find out how we get on.