Surviving a broken night
Another day beginning with the feeling of being hit over the head with a cricket bat because Ash had me up not once last night but twice.
I heard him moving around at 2am, made him a cup of tea and got him back to bed only to have a repeat performance at 4.15. I'm slightly impressed with myself because I'm rarely anything other than patient at these times. Mainly because I can guess how frightened he must be but also because being cross or bad tempered achieves absolutely nothing. Nothing that is except to frighten him even more, to make it more difficult to settle him and to make it impossible for me to get back to sleep. Instead I remember that Ash now struggles to tell the time even during the day never mind when he's awake in the early hours, I recognise that he's frightened because he doesn't know where he is and I'm actually happy that he trusts me to help him overcome his fears.
And I did manage to calm him down. he did go back to sleep both times and although I listened to far more of the radio in the middle of the night than I wanted or expected to, eventually I too drifted off to the land of dreams.
This morning then I walked around in a fog for a while but not for long because a walk in the fresh air with a friend beckoned so off I went to have the cobwebs blown away and to make an attempt at adult conversation. This last is often in short supply at home so I make the most of it when it's on offer and today promised lots of it.
I think I managed quite well both with the exercise and the speech but it was interesting to hear myself freeze in mid sentence again and again as tiredness stopped my train of thought. My friends, as an entire group, are nothing but understanding however and this friend in particular has known me since the days when I wasn't really old enough to talk in complete sentences so we were fine.
Got home to find Ash in excellent form and have managed to put the tiredness to one side for the rest of the day. Fingers crossed for a better time tonight though.
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