The ups and downs of living alongside dementia
The last few weeks have been a little difficult. Not too difficult you understand and nothing to compare with the issues lots of people living this life are dealing with but exhausting nonetheless. Ash's mood swings aren't particularly numerous but they still take me by surprise and I never quite know what I'm coming home to whenever I manage to 'escape'.
Friday for example saw me out walking with friends in the morning and getting back to find Ash not knowing what to do with himself which always makes him anxious and grumpy with me in the firing line. The anxiety drifted away once I was home however and the afternoon saw us sitting in the sunshine at one of the local beaches and drinking tea while watching the world go by.
Yesterday morning I was out with different friends and that walk took longer than usual so I drove home feeling slightly sick only to discover him smiling, joking about how long the walk must have been and perfectly happy in his own company. Again we went out after lunch and this time I took us further afield to test the water and see how he coped. I'm happy to tell you that not only did he cope well but he actually said on the way home that it had been nice to go somewhere different!
Today has been a very good day for both of us beginning with a trip to the big city to buy Ash new clothes which was a surprisingly positive experience for both of us. This afternoon he was happy to stay at home while I sat in the sunshine drinking tea and chatting at a village event.
And that ladies and gentleman is why I feel as though the earth is permanently shifting beneath my feet. Ash can wake up in a morning and be perfectly horrible but by the time he gets downstairs he's lovely and then again he can wake up in a wonderful mood but come downstairs refusing to speak to me.
None of this is his fault or mine but it is rather wearing and sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel seems a very long way off.
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