Things don't go according to plan

 All ready this morning with the new plan.  I had the story worked out, decided to wait until the last minute and was fully prepared at 9.45 when I dropped into the conversation what was going to happen.  Said that L was coming today and Ash's face was like thunder so very quickly said that she was coming to clean because she needed the money and I needed help around the house.  The face cleared, the shoulders settled down and he was happy once again.  Completely understood about me needing help, happy that we were helping L out too and smiling because he could walk Max completely unhindered by anyone and anything.

Ready to go then but there was a problem.  L didn't turn up.  No text message, no phone call and a mobile number that went straight to voicemail so that was it, a plan half activated and another day out cancelled.  It was at that point that I realised how much I hate being reliant on other people but also the realisation that it's the only way to live nowadays.

Spoke to the agency who knew nothing about the non-appearance but said instantly that they'd look into it and by the end of the day I learnt that L won't be coming any longer.  This was a huge blow not least because, as you know, we've been building up the number of nights I've been away all of which was in preparation for 4 nights at the end of October.  There's obviously no way I can get Ash used to a new carer in time for that so those plans are now on hold.  Of course I could just go anyway and trust that the new person would do a decent job but I wouldn't do that to him so we're back to square one.  The good thing is that I know more now than I did at the beginning so perhaps 'back to square on' isn't quite the right phrase.

Anyway that was my morning.  I came up with an excuse to go out briefly this afternoon just for a cup of coffee and some head space but, even though I left him in a very happy mood, I came back to all sorts of accusations thrown at me and really wished I hadn't bothered.

Now hoping a new carer is in place soon and I can start planning once again.  Am also going to use the 'help around the house' story right from the beginning so please keep your fingers crossed for that now and once again watch this space to see what happens next.

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